I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
