I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Blood and glitter go together right?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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