We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sarcasm needs its own font
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
