I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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