I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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