so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
