wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
