That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
