Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
