were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
