On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
