I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
