I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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