youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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