i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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