What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
