I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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