Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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