Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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