once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
