If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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