Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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