She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
