i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
