do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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