There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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