Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Come see our sink grown plant.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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