guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize