Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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