Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
