Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You took a bar mat shot.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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