Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
