the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
