Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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