I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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