never play flip cup with pint glasses
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
