My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm sobbing to NWA
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
