There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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