I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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