Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
