I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
