Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
