I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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