never play flip cup with pint glasses
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
