Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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