What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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