I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
