The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
