yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
