You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
only you would photoshop your dick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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