Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
