Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
