you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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